Sunday, February 13, 2011

Featured Figure

Next blog post will be a piece on a local artist. To all the local artist,poets,models, etc or if u want to rave about someone who is always on their grind 24/7 Hit me up @ with info on yourself, the artist, and a sample of their work (rather recorded or on paper) Let's Go!!!

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Find it…. Learn it….. Own it… Why u ask? Cause it’s yours!!!!!

Why do we allow others perception and opinion of us change how we perceive ourselves. I can remember while growing up being told that I was a beautiful pecan tan big boned girl with some big pretty brown eyes that has just developed a little early. That’s what my parents taught me.  They  taught me to believe in myself never letting anyone tear me down and make me feel less than what I am.
As much as we want to believe everything we tell our kids is recalled at the time it’s needed… I can say sometimes it isn’t.  I wish I could have recalled all that was told to me when the teasing and hazing started while in school.  When you get that sinking feeling of can I please disappear just for a moment to collect myself and let the embarrassments subside if only for 5 seconds.
I can’t speak for anyone else but I have my own person struggle with being teased in school made to feel like I am different  or I am less than …the mirror that bullies stuck in my face had me believe  that I was  a black, fat, overly developed little girls.  No one saw the pretty brown eyes that mama and daddy saw.
For a while I could never understand why they thought I was different… until the tug of war in my mind and heart started between what I were taught and what I’m now being taught by the outside world.   I can say this …. My perception of myself changed…. My self-esteem never suffered but my perception of myself suffered a lot. 
I no longer saw the picture of the girl my parents painted in my head. It’s had been replaced with the portrait of a girl I didn’t want to associate myself with let alone become.  The girl I became … I really didn’t like her… jokes where played on her, she always had her head down, she always thought she was less than and envied those around her.  She even talked to the some of the people that she knew didn’t like her… all in an attempt for them to see the real her.  Not knowing she had lost the real her trying to force people to see what she saw deep inside. 
Even though the new perception had won she still kind of felt deep inside that who she had become was not really who she was supposed to be. 
Now we fast forward…. This girl who thinks she’s ugly sometimes, fat all the time, can’t get any real friends actually get a break.  A turn around in her life bring money, cloths, hair do’s, and guess what Friends her way.  Yeah fake ass friends… some of the same people to tear her down was right there the build her up as long as she was being that friend to give money and buy things. 
Even being young I learned yes you do need somebody but I be damned if I need everybody and those people I learned that I damn sure didn’t need them. I also started to see that I loved me and the lessons put in me as a little girl started to manifest itself within me.  I started to find it! By it I mean me and what I stood for.  So once I found it… I started to learn it…. As in learned me and my worth…..Once I studied and learned what I needed… baby I Owned it! 
And I still own it even more today!!!! I’m no longer fat or big boned … I’m Curvy!!! I’m not black... I’m beautiful… I’m not overly developed… they r Breast aka tha girls….and the brown eyes hell I can’t stop lookn at them!!!!
Just remember never let anyone alter your own perception of self…Once you learn your worth no one can’t  take it away so, Find it…Learn it…. Own it!!!!! Why U ask? Cause it’s yours!!!!!

Being Bound by Love is long as you also have a Key!!!!!!

How do you walk out when you a paralyzed?
How do you walk away when leaving has 5never been an option?
How do you go on when staying is all you know?
How do you cut it off when the switch is stuck in the on position?
How do you find you when when ur lost in him?
How do i not drown in the Sea i created when I don't know how to swim?

I ask all of these questions because life has alot of twists and turn.  Alot of
the time we create those twist and turns for ourselves.  We create these situations and problems
but never stopping long enough to create the methods to come out of these situations or methods
 to deal thru these problems that we create.

No one person can do more to u than u let them do to you, but yet we always ask "why are they doing me this way?" well, its because in a way ur letting them do it.

For what ever ur reason.... u r allowing the situation to swallow u up without a plan to come out.

We allow ourselves to become consumed with the problems till we lose ourselves within the problem.

We get so caught up, we never learn how to....walk, leave, flip the switch, see, deal or swim.

If we learn ourselves better before we focus so much on learning other people then the instructions will manifest its self when the time come for them to be put into play. 

Being bounded by any love can be wonderful as long as both of you hold a key to the lock that bounds you.

To Find Greatness..... Start at one!!!!!!

Ur life is as great as U make it... no one can make it great for u nor should any one person be able to break it for u either... so to me that means if I'm not great I need to evaluate what step I missed or where did I go wrong in life... it's always a good time to evaluate urself other than ur circle... u may find ur greatness when u do....
all I kno is U should change Urself to b molded for greatness in whatever U do in life.
Rather U make it or break it will b all up to u..... stop trying to change ppl and except them for who they r...face the fact that this is who the person really is and except them for who they are or move the hell on....dont hold on to Ppl u really don't like or want to b around unless u can except them for who they are and deal with the good times as well as the BS they may
bring to ur friendship.

U can only be accountable for u... so that is where the changes should start and continue... Remember one person can't change the world but u can start with one person and that one is u... if we all start with one then we will all see change within us all.

Dammit Man..... I didn't ask for that lie!!!!!

Have you ever had that friend you love to hate?

Can be male or female.... that friend you love to death when and ONLY when they are being themselves. But on the other had you hate to see them coming when they come with all that fakeassness.

We have all seen it, you start a convo (a crazy convo just to see if they take the bait and of course they dive right in) everything you say happen to you or you did in the convo they did it to or it happened to them... like" (u say) " hey girl I am so glad they could find my foot and put it back on when i was 10." and in stead of them just hearing your vent or story they come back with " Damn you to... I lost mine at age 2 when i was dancing on the stage at my audition for this show...but I'm good now they attached it and u can barely tell it was completely off... glad i still got that part!" and ur standing there looking at them like "nicca plz thats why I avoid ya ass now!" its crazy, like is ur lies running that freely in ur head till they just glide out cha mouth with you not knowing u bout to tella big ass unsolicited lie?

Why ppl.... if I am already your friend then you dont have to be someone else i must like you for who u r, and not for who u and them voices in ur head think you are. We need to start calling people out on there "BS" , Put the lies on blast maybe then they will stop the fakeassness really quickly. Stop telling ppl (especially ppl that know you already) that you have or hav had (so it can't b verfied) 20 degrees, 4 cars, 2truck, a modeling career overseas, opened for diddy and dem, has 3 houses and 5condos all in ur name and u have ish to show for it... not a pot to piss in not a window to throw it out of and u just 26 years old. Just be you and if your not excepted by 1 or 2 ppl then there is another 3 to 4 ppl out there that will.

Side Chic/Side Dude.. is it worth it?

Def: side chic/dude - A woman/man that is one level above a jump off but always a step below the wife/husband, wifey/boo, girlfriend/boyfriend. A side chic/dude must know his/her part. She/he does not get holiday's, birthday's (other than his/her own). While he/she may meet your family. You will never meet his/hers. A side chic/dude is a woman/man who will have sex on Feb. 1-13 and spend Valentines day alone.
     Can and would u let a side chick or side dude become ur main lady or man?
     How acceptable is this in 2010?
     If you are a side chic/dude, how confortable are you being the other person?
     Is this considered cheating if everyone involved knows the situation?